My dream, my love, my heart, my nightmare
Having a new born baby is no easy task and all moms know that yet most of us,womans, dream about having kids.Having a new born baby who is attaches to you every second of the day, turns that dream into your worst nightmare and yet we embrace it with all our heart and infinite love. We are masochists
Becoming a mother
After a horible 38 weeks pregnancy which kept me either in the hospital or on my way to the hospital all the time, it was finally the time to meet him, the wonder that was trying to kill me even before he seen me.
I try not to remember that day because it was terrifying; i almost died but i'm fine now and proud to say my baby was delivered natural being 56cm and 3870 grams. I just seen him for a second and instantly fall in love. Don't remember much afterwards just woke up asking myself milions of questions.
When you know nothing about babys and suddenly have one, you wonder if you are going to fail as a mom. I was constantly asking myself how would i know when to feed him or if he is getting any milk or when to change his ass. How am i gonna be able to take care of him when i was not even able to stand on my own feet?
In my mind, I was gonna fail. For the first 2 or 3 months baby is sleeping most of the time so there is nothing you as a mom can do to him except feed him, change him, give him a bath, and lots of love. The real fun starts when he reaches 4 months and starts rolling over, talking and crying more; the more he is awake, the less peace you have.
It is exhausting and yet i can't have enough of him.
Since i have had my baby Filip, i have no privacy, no time alone on the toilet, or in the bath tub( he is always taking a bath with me ), i haven't seen a movie or a tv show from start to finish, and i barely manage to brush my hair every 2 or 3 days. When I get to bed every evening I am glad the day is over and instantly fall asleep. I love my baby so much and i wouldn't change a thing ... i miss going alone to the toilet though.
My day starts 6:48 when Filip wakes up and puts his fingers in my eyes to check if i am still sleeping. Sometimes i don't react, hopping he will go back to sleep; me not reacting, only makes him try harder. He found so many ways to wake me up.
note1: baby's energy is endless -my energy os always on minimum.
note2:baby is getting more and more inventive when he has a goal.
